GentleBirth and Labor Induction
Induction is not always ‘game over’ for a positive birth. Labor might be easier for you. It could be shorter than you expect. It could be more manageable than you expect. It could all go RIGHT! And if your baby’s birth takes a different path - having tools to cultivate more acceptance and self-compassion are crucial for your mental health during those early weeks of postpartum.
The core skills you have been practicing - focus, mindset and attention will all play a role in your baby’s birth and ultimately how you perceive this event. Labor/Birth is a head game - training your brain for the unpredictability of birth is key. Birth is about walking into the great unknown - but even the bravest most experienced travellers don’t travel empty-handed. We can’t predict how easy or difficult this path will be so we prepare as best we can. We prime our mind and body for the adventure, and we stack the odds in our favor of meeting any challenges with grace and self-compassion
I interviewed Angela right before her baby boy arrived, however when a life-threatening complication arose, Angela had an important tool in her toolkit - the ability to focus and stay present. You can watch the full interview here - just weeks before Lucas arrived.
Scroll down to Angela’s recent birth story.
Focus, Mindset and Attention
https://www.bellwetherdoulas.com/
Lucas’ Birth Story
“I’m finally ready to share Lucas’ Birthday story. To be honest, I didn’t know if I’d ever feel ready to share our story. I believe it’s so important to support other women by sharing encouraging and empowering birth-related experiences. It took me a while to recognize that even though my experience was frightening and traumatic that doesn’t mean it can’t be empowering too…
It was a Thursday morning and I had my 39 week appointment. It was the day my OB was leaving for vacation and I did not want to do this without him but something deep down told me I would have to. I had called my doula the day before my appointment and I told her that I had this fear that my blood pressure was going to be too high. I decided to go for a walk before my appointment to calm my nerves since anxiety can trigger HBP. Of course, at my appointment, my blood pressure was high and my doctor sent me to the hospital. Once I got there, all of my blood pressure readings were normal but they discovered I had low platelet levels and polyhydramnios (too much amniotic fluid). All of these individually wouldn’t have been enough for me to agree to an induction but something was telling me that all of this was happening for a reason and I needed to stay at the hospital. This pregnancy was strange and unpredictable and part of me was afraid of what was ahead. After agreeing to the induction, I waited at the hospital until they started with a cook balloon that night because I was only 1cm dilated. The extra fluid made it hard for baby’s head to press on my cervix, it was basically a swimming pool for him 🏊 . Right before they inserted the balloon, I asked if there was a chance my water would break. The doctor said it’s never happened before. Well, it happened. Great. Now the clock was ticking. I decided to get some rest and sleep that night since I knew I had a journey ahead of me.
The next morning, they started me on Pitocin. I wasn’t afraid of the Pitocin - my body responds really well to it actually. They slowly upped the Pitocin throughout the day and my contractions finally started. I spent (what feels like hours) in the shower and I definitely was progressing. My contractions were really strong and consistent. It felt like I made so much progress that they put the warmer out for the baby and unhooked me from all meds. I couldn’t believe it, I was laboring on my own without the help from the Pitocin.
This is when things went a little crazy. Everyone was ready for him, my room was full of nurses and the midwife wouldn’t leave because we all thought he was coming. My contractions began to go crazy, they were super irregular and at times lasted what felt like forever and they became so intense. I’ve had two babies with no epidurals so I was no stranger to strong sensations but these were another level.
I did EVERYTHING to make this labor go faster and to get this baby out. I didn’t shut off my GentleBirth tracks once, they were always on, a familiar voice, familiar words. I spent time in the tub, I rested, I moved, I danced, I did yoga poses - you name it.
https://www.bellwetherdoulas.com/
I had my midwife do a cervical check, I was 9.5 cm with a cervical lip. SO I decided to push with the help of my midwife. Every push she tried to move the lip to allow his head to come through. It was excruciating. It was probably the most pain I’ve ever had in my life but I continued on. After hours of this I realized, I have used every tool that I have and he is still not here. My incredible doula, nurses and husband did everything to ease my discomfort - hip squeeze, massage, tens machine you name it. I spent some more time laboring in the tub here too and he still didn’t want to come! That’s when I decided that the one tool I wasn’t familiar with and initially refused seemed like the obvious choice. Everyone tried so hard to get me to realize how close I was and they insisted I could do this on my own but I knew the only chance I had to get this baby out would be with an epidural. My sensations were too strong for me to focus or to even move.
They called the anesthesiologist in the middle of the night and he waltzed in like he was late for a party. I had to sit through this process, not being able to move through contractions at 9.5 cm dilated. All 3 of my pregnancies, I was more afraid of an epidural than actually giving birth.
The first one didn’t take and he had to do it again. At this point, I wondered if someone was playing a joke on me because nothing was going “as planned”. After the epidural, my discomfort started to ease up and I could finally rest. I woke up after a few hours and my nurses put me in a few different positions to get him to move into a better position and once he did I pushed for about 5 minutes and he was born. The pushing was really different than what I’ve experienced because this was my first epidural.
It was such a long labor and we all were exhausted. I looked over at my husband with pure joy and relief not knowing what was ahead. Lucas latched immediately and I was just so grateful he was here. I’m no stranger to having a difficult time birthing my placenta but this time…it really didn’t want to come out. My midwife had a very unsettling look on her face and before I knew it, it was complete chaos. I was hemorrhaging.
Ok, this happens all the time I thought, nbd. Well, my body DID NOT want to cooperate. My cervix closed on my placenta and I was bleeding and clotting. So many clots, so much blood. It was a Saturday morning and there was no OB, no OR staff - they all had to be called in. I remember them wheeling me down to the OR and it was still just so confusing to me, what was happening? Why am I here? I fought so hard to stay awake - my anesthesiologist was amazing and anytime I started to feel pressure in my heart or got the feeling I was going to faint he pumped me with meds and I was ok. This went on for what felt like hours. In the OR they did everything to get my cervix to open and it just didn’t want to. Eventually, it did but what a ride to get there. I remember feeling such a sense of calm. I was at peace. I don’t know if this is what happens before your mind thinks you’re going to die but I was so calm.
When I was in the OR I remember just asking for my parents, that’s all I wanted was my Mom and Dad. I felt sorry for them. Being a mother myself, I couldn’t imagine if one of my children was in this position. I felt sorry for my husband, who had NO idea what was happening. He was left with a brand new baby in a room full of blood while my doula fought unsuccessfully to get in the OR and get answers. My recovery was tough at the beginning. I was so sore and swollen from them trying to get my placenta out, I felt like I got hit by a bus. I was also so swollen from all the medications I couldn’t even recognize myself. At the end of the whole thing, I lost 4.5L of blood. No question, God was watching over me that morning.
Postpartum
For the next several days, no matter which health professional I saw, they all had the same reaction, even when I showed up for Lucas’ pediatric visit. They all felt sorry for me and they all were worried. Worried I wouldn’t rest, worried I would overdo it, worried I would have a really difficult time mentally recovering from what had happened.
I remember every shower that first week. I would sit under the water and replay the trauma and I would scrub my body so hard to try and get rid of all the trauma I was holding on to. I questioned if I would ever feel normal again. And I will tell you, I did. I worked through the trauma I experienced and I accepted that this pregnancy and birth was nothing I prepared for but in a way, it was. I spent months preparing for this so I could accept a birth that didn’t go to plan. THAT truly is what part of the preparation is. Yes, I ate the dates and did the spinning babies BUT the deep work, the meditation, Hypnobirthing, affirmations @gentlebirthofficial - THAT is what helped me recover. THAT is what helped me work through my trauma. My brain was trained to accept all of it and while it wasn’t as planned, I am so grateful for this experience. It taught me so much and shaped who I am today.
